So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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