I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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