After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
