Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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