You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
