White coat. Heels.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
