their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
That's intense
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
