She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Randomize
