Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Sober January is a disaster.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize