You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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