You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
