Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
