It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
