That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
