I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
