ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
