All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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