after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
