We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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