his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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