He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
