I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
