The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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