I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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