how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
