Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
