my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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