I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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