Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
