Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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