I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
