My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
