i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
