I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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