If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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