Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
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Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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