I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
