So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
