Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
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Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
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I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
this is an emotional support booty call
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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