i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
