I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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