dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
