If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
