my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
