would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
