You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
