Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He passed out mid-signature
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
