From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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