I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
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he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
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Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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