You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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