he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball