From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
