Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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