Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
