i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
