I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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