I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
