i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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