all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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