Only a mothe r could love this liver
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
